Holy fucking spam

If you've emailed me in the last six weeks, I probably lost your email today while trying to clear spam out of the inbox. Sorry about that, unless you wrote to flame me or because I owe you money, in which case: You and the horse you rode in on, buckwheat.

Don't anyone bother suggesting I check my email more frequently than once every few weeks. You'll have better luck training farm animals, or some children, to eat with silverware and fine china.